


Closed Windows

by NinePercentofChina



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Human Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Please Don't Hate Me, Prostitution, don't sympathize with ziyi please he's actually insane, dubcon?, everything is implied don't worry, kind of, the actual grammar is decent i promise, there's a cute dog at the end, ziyi gets better ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-06-16 04:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15428580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinePercentofChina/pseuds/NinePercentofChina
Summary: Xukun was like the rose he found at the edge of  the sidewalk.Thorny, worn, and stepped all over.But still beautiful.





	1. his name, ziyi, he has a name

**Author's Note:**

> oh lord im about to get a taxi to the airport why do i do this

 

The first time they met, Ziyi was drunk, horny, and careless. Xukun wasn’t human then, he was just another whore, a pretty toy meant to satisfy Ziyi. But perhaps this slut was a little prettier than the rest. Ziyi took a liking to him, came back again and again. Those meetings were no better. Ziyi was just as rough, just as ruthless.

 

Something changed on their tenth meeting. When Ziyi walked into the room, Xukun didn’t make a move to please him like he usually did. Maybe he came too late, or perhaps it was something about that particular day. Xukun just lay there, weak and limp, glassy eyes staring up at Ziyi.  _ “Just go ahead.”  _ His voice was breathy and barely audible. He looked helpless, laying there like a doll. Yet, something deep inside Ziyi’s chest churned. The boy became a bit more human that night.

 

By the fifteenth meeting, Ziyi had grown far too attached. Not in a loving, nurturing way, more in a needy, possessive way. So he bought him. Was it legal? Definitely not, but who cared to check the legalities in some cheap brothel at the outskirts of Guangzhou. The owner cared just little enough to sell him out, quite literally. As crude as the situation was, Ziyi found something cute in the way Xukun sat, slumped to the side in the backseat of his car. He was half asleep, with earbuds in and a grey wool blanket pulled up over him. Who used mp3 players anymore? Xukun did, apparently. 

 

They reached Ziyi’s complex a good forty minutes later. Pretty good time, considering all the traffic. Ziyi didn’t want to wake Xukun up, not with how pure he looked asleep. Ziyi carried him into the elevator, letting him drop to the ground once the doors shut. 

 

Xukun groaned in response, rolling over to blink up at Ziyi. His dark brown eyes were big and still hazy from sleep. He looked annoyed, but not very phased.  _ “You could’ve just put me down.” _ His voice came out a quiet mumble, and he shifted his gaze to stare at Ziyi’s feet.

 

“Too much effort.” Ziyi nudged him lightly with his foot, enjoying a bit too much when Xukun writhed as he hit a bruise. He took a deep breath through his nose, lying his head back on the ground. “Please don’t.” 

 

“Fine, fine. We’re almost there anyways.” 

 

After a few more elevator dings, the doors moved open. It was just late enough for no one to be around. Ziyi kneeled down and took Xukun’s hand, deceivingly gentle, right before jerking him back up to his feet. Xukun stumbled through the hall as Ziyi dragged him along. It didn’t take much time to get there, each story only had three doors on each side. Ziyi’s was the third on the top floor. Xukun was pushed in first, and Ziyi loudly shut the door behind them. 

 

And with the loud beeping of the lock, Xukun actually came to the realization that he was stuck here. He didn’t enjoy his life before, not in the slightest, but he still couldn’t quite process that he had been literally sold. Not even like a pet, like an object. 

 

His unpleasant train of thought was rudely disturbed when he was pushed onto the couch by a rather annoyed Ziyi. “I need to go pick some things up. I can lock the door from the inside, so just stay put.” 

 

Xukun followed his instructions. There was nothing he could do, after all. As he lay there, staring up at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but appreciate the flat. It was nice enough to almost be considered a penthouse, with spacious, modern decor, huge windows all along the living room and kitchen, and a black door in the back of the living area. He assumed it lead to the bedroom, office, bathrooms, etc., but he was too tired to go exploring right now. 

 

\-----

 

Ziyi came back, carrying a bag of miscellaneous necessities from the drugstore. He hadn’t been gone for very long, but he entered the living room to find Xukun fast asleep on the couch. His head rested haphazardly on the throw pillow, and his right arm hung off the cushion. He looked cute, sure, but above all, he looked a mess.

 

The cheap lipstick he wore was smeared down his jaw, and the kohl around his eyes had started to run from the rain they ran through earlier. While he was still sleeping, Ziyi opened the package of makeup wipes he had just bought, and pulled one out to dab at the boy’s face. 

He looked younger without makeup on.

 

Xukun had started to stir from the foreign feeling on his skin, his eyes scrunching up as he moved away from Ziyi’s hand. 

 

“I told you to stay still, not pass out.” Ziyi crumpled up the wipe and tossed it into the trash across the room, then turned back to thumb at Xukun’s lip. It was chapped, but still soft. “Wake up already. Come on, slut.” 

 

Xukun bit down on Ziyi’s thumb in response, nearly hard enough to draw blood. Ziyi was more than a little surprised. Xukun had shown annoyance, but never aggression. He couldn’t get mad, though. He knew it was warranted, perhaps some far corner of his mind was even trying to get a reaction.

 

“I have a goddamn name.” 

 

“Yes, of course, Xukun or whatever.”

 

He sighed, “Did you need something?”

 

Ziyi laughed, tugging lightly at Xukun’s hair. “What if I say I’m horny?” 

 

“No. I’m going back to sleep.” He flipped over, almost hiding in the crease of the couch cushions. Ziyi wasn’t particularly mad, he really enjoyed when Xukun’s personality peaked through his numb facade. But he enjoyed the hidden fear glistening in the boy’s eyes a hell of a lot more. 

 

“Don’t forget your place. Since when was it your choice?”

 

\-----

 

Ziyi realized that Xukun was a lot more stubborn than he accounted for. Of course, his fighting was pretty useless, but amusing. All it really did was give Ziyi an excuse to be harsher, something Xukun personally thought he enjoyed far too much.

 

Xukun had ended up sleeping on the carpet, but he didn’t mind. He was so tired, he really didn’t mind. All he wanted was some sleep, and the carpet was a lot better than the cold wooden floor of the brothel. They didn’t sleep in the service rooms, for self-explanatory reasons. They had their own rooms in the back, but no one had a set room, everyone just stumbled in, found a bed if they could, and passed out. He usually managed to get a bed just fine, but there was more people than there was bedspace. His biggest weakness had always been the kids younger than him. It was harder for them, and he understood what it was like. Xukun was happy to sleep on the floor if it meant they were better off. 

 

“Kid, hey, kid.” 

 

Xukun looked up lazily, pushing Ziyi’s foot away from his rib cage. He rubbed at his eyes, sitting up. “Is it ‘kid,’ now? Doesn’t sound like my name, Wang Ziyi.”

 

Ziyi let out a frustrated sigh, taking Xukun’s hand and pulling him up to his feet. “Okay,  _ Xukun _ , do you want breakfast?” 

 

He blinked, nodding slowly. “Breakfast?” He blinked twice more, “Right, yeah, I- um, yes. No, well yes, but I’m taking a shower first.”

 

“Okay, don’t take long though. I’ll leave you something to wear by the door.” Ziyi turned away, heading into the kitchen. “Just go through the hall, it’s the third door on the left.” Once the man disappeared into the other room, Xukun wandered into the hall. It wasn’t hard to find the bathroom. Most of the rooms were indicated with cute little trinkets, like the cute little bear plushie hanging from the doorknob of the bedroom. Xukun really didn’t take Ziyi to be someone who’d have an interest in cute interior decoration. As he explored the different rooms, he realized he really didn’t know Ziyi at all. 

 

What struck Xukun most was the painfully empty walls. Useless nails lined the right side of the hall. It was obvious something had once hung there. Perhaps someone died, or left. It was really none of Xukun’s business, but some part of him wanted to know. The only picture left on the row of nails was a large one at the end of the hall. It portrayed five or six people, with Ziyi at the very right of the group.  They all grinned up at the camera, posed in front of some cafe. It was a cute photo. Ziyi looked cute. Fuck, Ziyi looked cute. 

 

Xukun shook the thought from his head and rushed into the bathroom, taking a long shower to clear his thoughts. The bathroom was nice. All polished marble, pretty cream-colored walls, dark stone and glass doors. The entire flat was nice, he’d never been anywhere even half as pleasant. He let the warm water cleanse away his worries for the moment, letting him relax. Xukun tried not to take too long, but probably did anyways. The shower back at the brothel rarely had any hot water left by the time he got around to using it, and the obnoxiously dim lights didn’t make it any better. 

 

He turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping himself in one of the white towels folded on the shelf. He cracked the door open, and Ziyi had indeed left a small stack of clothes by the entrance. Nothing strange, thank the lord. Just a plain black t-shirt, with some unfamiliar logo, and sweatpants. 

 

He changed quickly, then leaned onto the counter to gaze into the mirror. He didn’t think he looked bad, he was pretty fond of his looks, actually. But the first thing he’d always notice were the glaring imperfections. His hair was a wavy mess, even though he had brushed through it the best he could. There was a line of dark purple bruises along his cheekbone, moving up and curling around the edge of his right eye. That would certainly be there for some time. His eyes looked dark and worn-out, and his cheekbones looked a bit too prominent. Speaking of which, food.

 

He tried to style his hair a last time before heading back to the kitchen. He popped his head around the doorway first, taking a quick look at Ziyi. The latter was just sitting at the island on his phone, paying his surroundings no mind. Xukun took the opportunity to quietly walk in, taking the seat next to Ziyi. 

 

“Why’d you take so long? I told you to hurry up.” He barely glanced up from his phone, typing away to someone. 

 

Xukun huffed, grabbing a slice of scallion pancake from the plate at the center of the table. “I’m fashionably late.”

 

“I can see why you’re a hooker.” 

 

Xukun looked over at this, biting into his pancake. “Do tell?” 

 

“Even your personality’s better in bed,” Ziyi grumbled and set his phone down onto the table, lifting his mug of coffee. 

 

He promptly choked on his slice of pancake, and Ziyi couldn’t help but laugh at his struggle. “Let me eat my goddamn breakfast in peace.”

 

“Eat some of the fruit too.” Ziyi lifted his phone back up, checking the time. “I have a friend coming over in like twenty minutes since I have nothing to do today, and it doesn’t seem like I’ll get you to do anything today, so just be decent.”

 

Xukun obliged and worked his way through the orange slices, nodding along. “Ziyi, does he know I exist?”

 

“That.. oh fuck.” Ziyi glared at a snickering Xukun, who seemed completely unaffected by the aggressive look. 

 

“Have fun explaining that.” Xukun brushed the silvery blonde curls of hair out of his eyes, grabbing another two slices of pancake. Ziyi wanted to warn him not to eat so fast, but even if he didn’t express it, the boy did seem, and look, quite hungry. His eyes were puffy and his jaw was overly sharp, and just  _ god,  _ who knew what prostitutes were fed anyways. 

 

He pocketed his phone and hopped off the stool, stepping towards the coffeemaker. “Do you want a cup?” 

 

“Could you.. Make tea instead?” His request was nearly inaudible, as he became shy again. He kept flipping between this snarky, self assured man, and this young, shy boy, and it was already confusing the fuck out of Ziyi. He really couldn’t tell which side he preferred. 

 

“Got it, Kun.”

 

Xukun perked up, staring at the back of Ziyi’s head. “So I’m Kun now?” 

 

“Kun.”

 

Ziyi’s blunt confirmation was followed by a soft cooing, and he had to bite his tongue down to keep a straight face. 

 

“That’s such an upgraaade~”

 

“I believe you’re far too excited about this.”

 

“No, you just don’t understand it.”

 

Xukun took his cup of tea and curled up on the couch in the living room, blankly staring at the door. He grabbed his mp3 player and a pair of headphones from his bag, which had been left forgotten, haphazardly thrown by the coffee table. It was sad, everything that mattered to him fit into a small, battered backpack. He was half asleep by the time the doorbell rang, watching through his eyelashes as Ziyi almost tripped over a chair getting to the door. 

 

“Ah, shit shit shit,,,” He stumbled into the door, before pulling it open. A man, well, was he even a man? He looked a lot younger than Ziyi, perhaps younger than himself too. 

 

“Hey Nongnong.” The boy’s eyes scanned over Ziyi’s rushed expression, and a bright, infectious smile sparked up. 

 

“Hey Ziyi!” 

 

“Sorry, I uh, had some struggle getting to the door.”

 

‘Nongnong’ laughed, walking in and closing the door behind him. “I ca-” he blinked, “Oh, who’s this?”

 

Xukun looked up, waving when they made eye contact. He hadn’t made a move to get up from the couch, and didn’t really plan on it. 

 

“That’s Xukun. He’s uh, he’s…” 

 

“Hi! I’m a prostitute he spontaneously brought home.”

 

Ziyi sighed, leading Nongnong into the main living area. “I swear I was drunk.”

 

Xukun nodded, tugging his earbuds out. “Yup, he was drunk fifteen times!”

 

“We’ll get back to this later. Nong, you can sit down, I’m gonna go get snacks or something.” He shook his head and headed into the kitchen, leaving them alone. 

 

“So..” Nong sat down next to Xukun, smiling brightly. “Hi, I’m Linong.”

 

“Hey, uh, you got my name already. Nice to meet you.” He sounded painfully awkward, he’d really never needed to learn how to properly interact with people. 

 

Linong nodded, laughing lightly. “So how long have you been here? You’re in Ziyi’s clothes.” 

 

“You know his clothes?” 

 

He laughed more, “No, you’re about twelve sizes smaller than him.”

 

“...Right. I’ve only been here a night, I just- didn’t have anything to wear.” Xukum smiled sheepishly, pearly teeth glinting lightly as they peaked through his lips. Linong was surprised he had loosened up so naturally. He didn’t know what he was supposed to expect from a prostitute, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have negative opinions of the job, but Xukun seemed awfully normal. Besides his scarily thin frame  and the array of marks down his jaw and neck, he didn’t seem like what Linong thought a prostitute would look like. 

 

“I hope Ziyi hasn’t been.. Horrible. He’s usually pretty nice, really. He just has some issues.” 

 

Xukun chewed lazily at the pad of his thumb, “Mhm, I’ve noticed. Did you know your friend’s a sadist.” He grinned up, a mischievous spark glinting behind his thick eyelashes. If anything, he certainly had bedroom eyes.

 

“Bitch, I can sell you off to someone much worse.” Ziyi stepped into the room with two cups of boba and a glass of dark liquid that looked suspiciously akin to black beer. 

 

Xukun’s eyes snapped up at the comment, and his playful attitude seemed to melt away. “You’re joking, right?”

 

Ziyi simply shrugged, setting the cups down. The glasses clinked lightly against the mahogany coffee table, the man’s grip hardly muting the sharp noise. Ziyi was completely oblivious, even when Xukun’s breathing spiked and he gripped the couch arm so harshly his knuckles turned white. “No,” he started in a ragged voice, furrowing his dark brows, “No, no, that’s not an answer, you can’t answer like that. Ziyi you can’t. You wouldn’t.” 

 

Linong could only watch as Xukun paused to get control of his breathing. He wanted to help, to do something, but he was frozen on the spot. Xukun’s mood changed so violently, Linong silently wondered if he was bipolar.

 

Ziyi, ever ignorant, finally looked up from the table and to the boy on the couch. “Oh hell-” he completely ignored his friend, who was currently staring daggers into the back of his head, and sat down by Xukun. Linong duly noted that Xukun seemed much more frightened when Ziyi was acting kind, but shoved the thought into the back of his head. “Shh, you little slut. I’m joking, only joking. I’m not that mean.” He took the boy’s hand gently, running his thumb along the back of his pond. 

 

“Ziyi!” he looked back at Linong, who he had almost forgotten. He let out an exasperated sigh, squeezing Xukun’s hand tighter. “What?” 

 

“His name, Ziyi. He has a name.” 

 

“Right.”

 

\-----

 

Xukun spent the next few weeks with Ziyi. It’s not like he could go anywhere, he didn’t have money or friends. Besides Linong, who he had gotten quite close to. Linong was a sweet boy, with a good conscious. He always seemed ready to snap at Ziyi for something. 

 

Ziyi had dragged Xukun over to watch some World Cup game, even though it was 2 in the morning and they had fucked less than an hour ago. And Ziyi wasn’t exactly soft and patient. Needless to say, he was grumpy and half-asleep. He hadn’t even known the World Cup was happening, but Ziyi was obviously well-aware of the happenings of the sport. Xukun was being squished into the corner by an aggressive Ziyi, who took his football very seriously. 

 

Xukun reached around Ziyi to grab a handful of mix-matched chips, but ended up falling over his lap as Ziyi threw his arm up with a big whoop. 

 

Xukun groaned in response, “It’s down to penalty kicks, then I’ll be free at last.”

 

Ziyi promptly waved him off, lifting him up to hug tightly like a pillow. “Shh they only have two kicks left. If our team misses even one, it could be a tie.”

 

“Your team,” he rasped out, landing small, rapid smacks on Ziyi’s shoulder to signify that he couldn’t breathe. He was promptly ignored, so he set his head down on the man’s shoulder and pulled at the hand gripping his side until he could get oxygen in again. Ziyi, though he still barely noticed, at least had the sympathy to hold him up when his body went slack.

 

The team Ziyi was rooting for won, sending Ziyi jumping. Xukun clung onto him tightly as he rose, not liking the prospect of hitting his head on a glossy, wooden coffee table. 

 

He dug his nails into the man’s shoulders to gain his attention, looking up at him with drowsy eyes. “Ziyi please sit back down.”

 

“I- oh, right. Fine.” He settled back onto the couch, pushing Xukun over. The smaller just rolled onto his back, half on the couch and half in Ziyi’s lap. “I’m too tired.” 

 

“You barely know the teams, what are you tired from,” Ziyi grumbled his response and reached over him to pop open a can of cola. Xukun pulled at his hand, gazing up at Ziyi with his best pleading eyes. He ended up getting the can, because, well, his best was indeed very good, he knew how to manipulate his expressions, switch his aura around with the blink of an eye, use his features for his own gain. Ziyi had wrongfully thought him weak in the beginning, but he was well-suited for the cruel world outside the floor-to-ceiling windows of the living room.  

 

“I’m not tired from a fucking football game, Ziyi.” Xukun  downed half the can in one gulp, propping himself up and crawling completely onto the couch. “You have freakish stamina and it’s nearly four.”

 

“Right. We should sleep now. I’ll clean this up.” Ziyi gathered everything spread out on the coffee table and took it back to the kitchen. He turned out the kitchen and living room lights on his way back, but left the ones by the door on. “Is that fine?” They were significantly dimmer than the rest of the lights, and a faint yellow, contrasting with the modern white glow of all the others. Xukun had requested Ziyi let him leave them on a few times prior, not liking being left alone in the dark, especially when the summer showers hit.

 

He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything, the lights started to blink, then went out. Outside of the window, Ziyi could see that the lights in the buildings next to their had gone out as well. “Well.. something probably hit the power line. I’m sure it won’t be long.” 

 

Xukun shook his head, pulling his knees up. Even with the remaining city lights, it was very dark. Too dark to make out Ziyi’s features and Xukun didn’t like this darkness, not paired with the giant windows, showing just how vulnerable he was if anything was to happen. That’s what he disliked most about where he slept. He was already terrified of heights, and that didn’t get any better at night. “No way in hell I’ll be falling asleep like this.”   
  


Ziyi furrowed his brows, looking back to the window. He didn’t seem to share Xukun’s anxiety. “Didn’t you say you were ‘too tired,’ Xukun?”

 

The latter looked up at him, an incredulous look in his eyes. “I am tired. It’s just.. This room. It’s so open and there’s the windows and-” Ziyi stopped his stammering by pressing his large hand over his lips, pushing him back against the couch. “Calm down. You can come sleep with me.”

 

The boy glanced up, eyes flickering with that faint worry he rarely allowed to slip through. “Just sleep.” Ziyi moved his hand from his mouth to his back, and looped a second under his knees. He lifted Xukun up with ease. His cheeks had filled out, he looked a lot healthier, but he was still a lot thinner than the average guy.  Most of his weight came from his height anyways, and Ziyi was definitely taller than him. 

 

Xukun was already starting to doze off by the time Ziyi got him into the bed. He had really considered just dropping him to the ground, but he decided that was too mean, even for him. He pulled his blanket up over Xukun, who reacted immediately, curling into it. Ziyi realized he hadn’t had a blanket or pillow on the couch. This hadn’t bothered Ziyi before, what did he care for the comfort of his fucktoy? He looked the same regardless of where he slept. But for some unbeknownst reason, now it gnawed at his conscious. He glanced down to see if he needed to adjust the pillow, but Xukun was already fast asleep. He looked peaceful, Beautiful too, near angelic. 

 

Ziyi had never noticed how pretty Xukun was. Sure, he knew the kid looked good. Why else would he waste his money on him? But right now, in the dim, flashing, multicolored lights of the city, he looked breathtaking. His eyes were shut, but not squeezed tight like Ziyi would usually see them. They were closed gently, half covered by the wavy strings of hair falling over his forehead. Ziyi couldn’t tell if it was permed or just naturally textured. His lips, thick and pigmented, were parted just enough for the light to catch on the sliver of white teeth. Xukun’s pale skin seemed to almost glow blue from row of skyscrapers a few streets from them, making him look absolutely unreal. 

 

Ziyi slid his phone from his pocket, taking the best photo he could with the dim light. And then, pretending like nothing happened, he slid under the covers and turned his back to Xukun. Hell, was he catching feelings? No, no he wasn’t. He was better than that. 

 

\-----

 

Xukun woke up before Ziyi, for once. Usually he’d be asleep for far too long, maybe even the whole day. He liked sleeping, it was like time travel. You close your eyes, and suddenly it’s morning. 

 

But you could only travel forwards by sleeping. It was a bitter thought. What was the point of travelling forwards, into the same type of day, over and over? What he really needed was to go back into the past. He wanted the second chance he never got. Xukun wanted to live too. Really live. With a family, or even just friends. He wanted to experience those run-of-the-mill events of growing up. Going through a phase, making dumb mistakes, falling in and out of love, getting a first car, graduating school. Hell, he didn’t even have a phone. And his education was nothing much to speak of, he had the mathematical knowledge of a fifth grader. 

 

In the least, he was good with literature. He had gotten through a lot of books, mostly classics, over the years. It gave him a good concept of Chinese history, as well, something he probably would have forgotten completely otherwise. While reading, he could forget about his own situation and enjoy that of another. Even if for only a few minutes at a time. Sometimes, especially when he’d been younger, he really wished he could go back, or simply vanish into a different, better world. And some people really could do that. They could rise up against all odds, carve out a better life for themselves. But that wasn’t Xukun. What could he do? He knew he was young, but he already felt close to death. He was essentially stuck. 

 

“Why are you crying? 

 

Xukun glanced up. He hadn’t even noticed that Ziyi had woken up. “I am- I’m crying?” He carefully pushed himself up, propping his torso against the wall with shaking arms as pain shot up through his body. 

 

“Yeah.. yeah, you are.”

 

He sniffed pathetically, reaching up to wipe at his tears. “I don’t know. I didn’t notice. I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t apologize.” Ziyi shook his head, reaching up to place a firm, comforting hand on Xukun’s cheek. “Here, come here.” He pulled Xukun into his chest, brushing his fingers through his hair slowly. “You wanna talk?” 

 

“Not at all.” Ziyi was the last person Xukun could talk about something like this. Though, Xukun had come to realize that Ziyi could be rather kind. He had gotten particularly nicer over the past few days. He let Xukun sleep in his bed, made sure he ate enough and most of all, actually realized he needed some recovery time after they did anything. Sure, he could still be an asshole, and had those aggressive moments of his, but he was better. 

 

Ziyi hummed a response and the vibrations Xukun felt from his chest sent shivers through his body. “You can talk. I’m in a good mood right now.” He moved his hand down to Xukun’s arm, keeping him close. 

 

He pressed his hands over his eyes, taking stuttering breaths. Sometimes, he just wanted to die. But he couldn’t say that. 

“I’m just.. Regretting. Yeah, I’m regretting.” Ziyi hummed again, pressing his fingers into Xukun’s scalp. “Well, you could have had your organs sold off on the black market. I’d say this is a tad better.”

 

Xukun laughed quietly, closing his eyes. “Are my organs healthy enough for sale?” 

 

“Maybe not, but there’s also collectors.” Ziyi’s hand wandered back up, and he brushed his thumb up through Xukun’s lashes. “You have pretty eyes, someone would buy them.” The latter made a small noise and slapped at his hand, opening his eyes and looking up. “Let’s not sell my eyes.” 

 

“Just one?” 

 

“We are not selling any part of me!”

 

Ziyi chuckled as well, moving his hand back to Xukun’s arm. “Alright, alright. Not even a finger.”

 

Xukun raised his hand, linking his pinky with Ziyi’s. “You’re not selling me, promise?”

 

Ziyi couldn’t muster a laugh once he saw the serious expression on Xukun’s face. He looped his own pinky around the boy’s, squeezing firmly. “I promise I won’t sell you, you goddamn kid.” 

 

“Oh? Pedophilia now?” 

 

“Don’t make me take it back.” 

 

 


	2. I love you, you dumb whore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm not sure if this relationship is cute or sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sorry it took me long
> 
> i redid some of the first chapter so like reread maybe if you feel like it thx
> 
> I changed the title too. I wanted to make it "I think my prostitute's malfunctioning, should I consult best buy" but apparently that's objectifying smh :c

Ziyi fucked up.  _ He  _ was fucked up. A few months had passed, everything was fine. They had gotten closer, even gotten along. Ziyi realized he was falling for a whore, but he really couldn’t help himself. Xukun was attractive, very much so, he had known that from the start, but what really got to him was the person behind his pretty face. How soft he got when Linong brought his dog over, his giddy smile when he found the electric piano tucked away in the laundry room, the way his eyes sparkled as he flipped through through the Harry Potter series, even the way he’d stubbornly argue over the smallest things. Xukun was so sweet, pure even, despite his situation. It confused Ziyi, but he loved it. And maybe he loved  _ him _ .

Then suddenly, he was alone. The stress, the pressure, it got to him. Having to learn to manage his father’s company so quickly, with only days to pick up things that took some people years to master. He wasn’t even doing that much in the company, his father just insisted that learning these skills would be beneficial. Which, of course, meant a huge load of pointless work and deadlines. 

 

Alcohol and Xukun were the closest things around. Which ended just about as well as it sounded. Ziyi didn’t blame Xukun for running as soon as he could. Hell, he would’ve done it long before in his place. Yet his apartment was strangely empty even as months passed. Painfully empty, because Ziyi missed him. Why did he miss him? He could always go get a new fucktoy, it wasn’t like he was lacking in money or looks. He could probably get a better one, in fact. 

 

But he was only interested in Xukun. He never thought he’d see him again. He was wrong, because here Ziyi was, sitting in the bar with a glass of single-malt whiskey, holding eye contact with the same pretty-faced nineteen year old he still remembered so painfully well. He had lost weight again, and his hair was now a dark shade. It was still wavy, and Ziyi could make out the soft, natural brown highlights weaving through the curls. He had the same look as he did when Ziyi picked him up almost a year ago. Wide, tired eyes, slightly smeared makeup, lips barely parted, bruised and swollen. His hair was a bit roughed up, and it seemed like Xukun was too, with the way he stumbled out of the bar bathroom behind a middle-aged man. 

 

When Xukun saw Ziyi, he froze. He’d spent so much energy trying to forget, struggling to convince himself that he had made the right choice by leaving. All the effort he spent on building up his shields was a waste. The moment he met eyes with Ziyi, he just wanted to curl up and sob. Hell, why did he still miss him? Xukun had even gone out of his way to load himself to the brink with clients, in a pitiful attempt to try and keep his mind off the man. How pathetic was he, falling for the first man to stay for the morning. To Ziyi, he had just been a likable whore. Xukun hated himself even more when he felt a tear running down down his jawline. 

 

He tore his gaze away, staring at the far corner of the room and quickly wiping his face. Ziyi had already seen him, there was no point pretending he didn’t notice. Xukun walked over slowly, hopping up on the wooden bar stool next to Ziyi. 

 

The man glanced down at him, then looked back to the wall to down his alcohol in one clean swig. “How much?” 

 

“Fifty an hour, but five hundred for you.” Xukun crossed his arms on the table, and laid his forehead on top. 

 

He laughed, “Oh? You got cheaper.” Ziyi watched as Xukun turned his head to face him. Red marks and dark bruises lined his neck, and even in the dim light, Ziyi could tell he was tired. His gaze was cold and empty from behind his fluttering lashes and the stray hair falling over his forehead. It looked like he had brushed it back at some point, but no styling would stay for very long. 

 

“The streets are less expensive,” He replied curtly and took the second drink the bartender had set down for Ziyi. Xukun sat up and chugged it down. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he just needed something to keep his composure. He felt like he was about to break down. 

 

Ziyi nodded, tilting his head, “Why’d you go back to this? I thought you’d be doing better, not worse.” 

 

“You’re too generous to think I can do anything else. Jobs are already hard to find and I’m not strong or healthy, nor did I go to school. Tell me, who would hire me?” Xukun bit his lip, tracing patterns onto the wooden tabletop with his fingernail. 

 

“Your lipstick is ruined.” 

 

Xukun set the glass down with a soft clink, looking back up at Ziyi. 

 

“My mind is ruined.  _ I’m ruined.” _

 

“I know you are.” Ziyi reached up and threaded his fingers through his dark hair. He pulled lightly, then leveled the pain out with soft strokes. 

 

“Please don’t touch me, I-I’ll really lose it.” 

 

Ziyi chuckled quietly, digging his finger into Xukun’s scalp. “I knew you already lost it when you sat down next to me.” He watched the younger as he ducked his face down back into his arms. He didn’t respond, but the way his back heaved from his breathing was stuttering and uncertain. “ —are you crying?”

 

“No, I’m,” he sniffed, “Oh god, was I a serial killer in my past life? Why do I miss you? I fucking missed you —  I can’t keep doing this.” 

 

Xukun let Ziyi pull him close, and immediately pressed his face down into his shirt. He didn’t like people seeing him cry. 

 

“I’m so tired. Just take me back. I don’t care what you do to me, do whatever you want. Hurt me, kill me, whatever.” He gazed up at Ziyi, and Ziyi’s heart throbbed. The tears in his eyes glittered, yet they still looked so empty. No swirling emotion, no glinting anger, nothing. 

 

Ziyi ducked his head down to whisper in Xukun’s ear, “I think you’ve made a horrible decision.”

 

“I know I have.” 

 

\-----

 

Xukun had seemed off to Ziyi from the first time he met him again, but it only seemed to get worse. He still remembered how he’d banter, joke, complain. Now he rarely spoke. He barely even moved, in fact, not even to eat. He just laid on the couch, blinking lifelessly up at Ziyi when he came home each day. Xukun wasn’t kidding when he said Ziyi could do whatever he wanted. He’d be active when they fucked, sure, but even then, any energy dissipated right after. 

 

While Ziyi may have been okay with just a body at first, he got bored very quickly. 

 

“You- he actually came back?” Linong blinked at him incredulously, turning his head to glance at Xukun. “He’s gone completely crazy.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah. And now he won’t even talk.” 

 

Linong stared at him a while longer, than stood up to sit next to Xukun on the couch. “What the hell did you do, Ziyi?” 

 

Ziyi glared back at his friend, sitting up. “Why does it always have to be me!?”

 

“Why don’t you ask yourself?” Linong spat out, peeling a rather large orange he took from the stack of fruit in the center of the table. “You’re horrible, you don’t have the vaguest clue how to deal with people, emotions, anything. And it’s even worse because you’re so nice, I know you’re nice. Shit, Ziyi, why can’t you just control yourself?” He tried his best to push an orange slice into Xukun’s mouth. “Are you with us? Eat.” 

 

The latter’s eyes wandered to the side. He’d have looked annoyed if it wasn’t all so robotic. “I’m not hungry.” 

 

“Don’t push it. I tried forcing him to eat and he just threw it up.” 

 

Linong blinked, eating the orange himself. “You sure he’s not sick? He looks frail.” 

 

“He looks frail because he won’t eat well.” 

 

“I- dude, I have no clue how you managed to fuck this kid up this much,” he paused, peeling away another orange slice, “Is he even younger than me? Do you know how old he is? You have no idea, do you?” Linong ranted on accusingly, angrily munching his orange. “Here, I have an idea! I’m taking psychology courses, right? Maybe he feels empty, like, he just wants to feel something. Putting up with you, and this, of course, is getting him that.” He glanced back down to find Xukun already half asleep. “Let’s, let’s move out of this room.” 

 

Linong dragged Ziyi out to the balcony by his sleeve. And really, he was lucky it wasn’t by his ear. “I think he’s spent too long being told he should be treated like nothing, and in bad care in general. Repetition has this sort of effect, even if someone doesn’t believe something, words in actions will wear down at them, and eventually it becomes true for them too. He just happened to go off that edge right before coming back to you. It’s probably just that he’s safer with one person than bouncing about like he was before. And whatever mental shit you’ve both fallen for.” He leaned onto the railing, looking down at the busy Beijing street below.

 

“I’d suggest just treating him like you would any other person. Not like an occasionally friendly prostitute, okay? He’s just human, and honestly, I liked him. Xukun will ease back into himself. If he hasn’t gone completely numb, at least.” 

 

Ziyi followed Linong back into the living room, and watched silently, dumbfounded, as he hugged Xukun goodbye and grabbed his coat from the hooks attached to the door. 

 

“Oh! And apologize!” 

 

“Huh? What do you mean  _ ‘apologize?’ _ ”

 

“You know what I mean. Apologize. For everything, this entire situation. Because really, it is your fault. You should’ve treated him better. Bye.” 

 

And with that, Linong stepped outside, shrugged the jacket over his shoulders, and slammed the door shut. 

 

\-----

 

Ziyi was trying his best, but Xukun’s concept of getting better was becoming even more of a stubborn bitch. 

 

“I swear to god, Kun just eat.” He set the spoon back down in the bowl in forfeit, flopping down next to Xukun on his bed. 

 

“I’m not hungry.” 

 

He slapped his hand down on the drawer, making the younger jolt. “You’re never hungry!” Ziyi himself winced at the resounding cling from the wood, pulling his hand back. “I’m.. I’m sorry. Here, come here.” He pulled Xukun into his arms, sitting him down in his lap. Ziyi just wanted him to relax, but he just got impossibly stiffer. “I’m not gonna do anything, okay? Just believe me. Just… I don’t know. Open up, please.”

 

Xukun looked up at him. “Okay.” He let out a puff of air, tugging the blanket out from under them and pulling it over himself. He then complied, leaning back onto Ziyi’s chest. 

 

“You cold?” Ziyi weaved a hand into the smaller’s hair, gently brushing through. “It’s because you’re too thin.” 

 

“I’ve always been thin.” Xukun sighed contently, subconsciously moving his head into Ziyi’s hand. “And it is cold. You like your air conditioning to much.” 

 

“You went three days on coffee last week. It’s not your natural metabolism.” Ziyi’s voice was blunt and concrete, and he tugged at Xukun’s roots a bit to enhance his words. Xukun just bit his lip and winced silently, shutting his eyes.

 

“Sorry, sorry.” Ziyi brought his other hand up to pet up and down Xukun’s arm, and pressed his chin into his shoulder. “I’m so.. I’m so sorry. For everything. I know I’m fucked up, and you’re too fucked up to leave. So I’ll be better. I swear. I know I haven’t been controlling myself I just, I- oh fuck, am I crying?” He quickly wiped his face, taking a long, shuddering breath. “Do you believe me?” 

 

Xukun’s eyes fluttered down, “No, not really.” He turned himself around, straddling Ziyi’s lap with his knees so that he could face him. “Don’t cry. It’s weird, I’m always the one crying.” 

 

Ziyi chuckled under his breath, pulling Xukun’s head down into his shoulder gently. “It’s okay. You shouldn’t believe me. How about.. Do you want to do something?” 

 

He looked up through the black hair falling over his forehead, blinking blankly. “Since when do you ask?” 

 

“Not like that! Like.. like a…”

 

Xukun’s eyes sparked to life, a little spark that lit up his entire face. “Could you take me somewhere? Like a date?” 

 

“Yes you vanilla whore.” He glanced down at Xukun, who looked infinitely more animated. “Does a normal date excite you that much?” 

 

It did excite him. He’d always craved the kind of normal romantic interaction he had never really experienced. Xukun hadn’t even had his first kiss before he started working. Hell, he’d barely properly hugged someone. “The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.” 

 

“How deep. Anywhere you wanna go?” 

 

Xukun shook his head with a yawn, resting his forehead back onto Ziyi’s shoulder. “No. Can we just walk around somewhere?” 

 

“Mhmm. We can just go along the shopping districts in the central city, they’re always nice and lively.” Ziyi smiled despite himself, stroking up and down Xukun’s back. “Are you tired?”

 

“Mm.. no. I want to drink.” Xukun turned his head towards Ziyi, but didn’t raise his head all the way. “I want wine.” 

 

“You’re already acting high as hell, I’m not sure you could manage that.”

 

“Ziyiiiii. Let me drink.”

 

“You’re obnoxious. We’ll drink tomorrow night, you’re already falling asleep.”

 

Xukun shook his head in protest, but his head was starting to fall to the side and his eyes had shut against his own will. Ziyi lifted him up and laid him back on the bed, before reaching over to turn on the lights. Shrouded in darkness, Xukun found himself relaxing around Ziyi, even practically begging to be held. Ziyi didn’t mind. 

 

\-----

 

“That is far more sugar than you need.”

 

“Americanos are too bitter for me,” he responded simply, pouring a fifth packet of sugar into the plastic cup. 

 

“Xukun that’s a fucking iced latte.”

 

The younger shrugged, mixing his drink around with a straw and pushing the lid back on. “Still to bitter.” He brushed the empty packets off the table and into his hand, neatly throwing them away. “You didn’t even add cream.” Xukun mumbled on to himself, shaking his head as if disappointed.  “Anyone who can drink a plain americano is soulless!”

 

Ziyi took in a deep breath, smiling through his irritation. “So I’m soulless?”

 

Xukun looked up at him, tilting his head, considering. “No, no… You’re just a monster, I’d say.” Before Ziyi could respond, Xukun took his drink and quickly headed out of the cafe. Smart of him, really, making his way out before Ziyi’s temper really cut short. 

 

“Dumb whore,” Ziyi muttered under his breath but trailed closely behind Xukun. “Do you even know where you’re going?” 

 

“No, because I don’t need to.” He paused to drink his coffee, letting Ziyi catch up. “You said we could just walk around.” He let Ziyi latch their hands together before continuing to walk, idly kicking at an empty McDonald’s box. “And stop with the name calling. Maybe it’s a joke to you, but it stings.”

 

“Okay, okay, you, uh- shit.”

 

Xukun looked ready to leave him in an alley somewhere. “I swear to god Ziyi it’s not that hard.” 

 

“Alright,  _ Xukun. _ ” 

 

He grinned, letting go of Ziyi’s hand to clap mockingly (though awkwardly, with the drink still in his hand). “See, easy!” 

 

“You’re so dumb.” 

 

Xukun smiled, dodging around a group of students as they ran past. “Let’s go dumb and dumber~ bam, bam, bam,”

 

“You- since when do you listen to iKON?” 

 

“Well BIGBANG’s pretty much gone for military service so I’m filling my YG ga-”

 

Ziyi sighed, putting his hand over Xukun’s mouth. The younger stopped, looking up at Ziyi incredulously. “No, I mean since when are you even into k-pop?”

 

He shrugged, pulling Ziyi’s hand away. “Since I was a kid. I liked BIGBANG.” 

 

“But- you can’t understand anything, right? How did you even learn of them?” 

 

“I don’t know.. But I can understand, I know Korean.” 

 

“You- you know Korean?” Ziyi blinked, taking Xukun’s hand again so that he wouldn’t get dragged away in the crowd. 

 

“Mhm! I’m fluent in English too.” 

 

“How the hell-” 

 

“Korean is a long story. I lived with a foster family in the states for a bit.”

 

“Ah, well, okay then.” Ziyi pulled Xukun behind him as they got to a busier street. He wanted to get them to the water, it was always calmer there. “Do you miss them? Why are you back?” 

 

“It’s complicated.” Xukun glanced down at his feet, picking up the pace to keep up with Ziyi. “I do miss them. They were nice. A big family.”

 

“How ol- wait, how old are you now?” 

 

Xukun looked up at  him an utter disbelief. “You didn’t even know if I was legal?” 

 

“Well, by law, you’re legal at 14.” 

 

“You know what the fuck I mean. I’m nineteen. Turning twenty soon.” 

 

“See! You are legal!” 

 

Ziyi got promptly dragged down the street by Xukun. He didn’t know where they were heading, so he just marched down the same road until he was stopped. 

 

“Towards the river, left.” 

 

They got there pretty soon. By then, they had both finished their ‘coffees,’ which got thrown out at the nearest trashcan. 

 

“I’ve only seen this at night. It’s pretty, like this, I mean.”

 

Ziyi couldn’t help but stare at the way Xukun ran up to the railing seperating the walkway from the river, hopping up onto the lower bar and leaning forward like a child. His wide eyes glimmered for the first time in a while, with a pure, immature wonder masked in the reflection of the morning sun. “This is the Tonghui Canal, right? They decorate it well.. It’s pretty. Look at how pretty the city looks today. It’s not even that polluted.”  

 

“Yeah, it looks pretty today.” Ziyi smiled fondly, walking up from behind to lean against the railing on Xukun’s right side. “Have you really only explored at night?”

 

Xukun hopped off the railing before he could fall off, opting to just rest against it instead. “I wouldn’t say explored. I’m not from Beijing, I’m from a small city in Hunan. I work at night, you know, and usually just go home and pass out during the day.” 

 

“Ah, I see… where did you live, by the way?” 

 

“With a friend,” he chuckled, turning his gaze back down to the water. A small smile graced his lips. “She’s too nice, really. I helped her pay rent though.” 

 

Ziyi nodded, crouching down to lift up a few stones. He tossed them into the water, just to watch the ripples. He didn’t really know how to skip rocks, though he was sure that would be more interesting. “Is she also-?”

 

“No, no. She used to be. She works as a waitress now. The apartment’s really small, even for one person, but since she works during the day and I work at night so it works out.” He raised Xukun’s hand with his own, looking through the stones he picked up. He plucked a flat one from the lot, looking back up at Ziyi. “Skipping them isn’t hard, it’s just a flick of the wrist. Here.” 

 

He didn’t use much force, but still got four skips in. The small stone flickered in the light as it hopped across the grey water, sinking softly by the opposite shore. “You don’t need to use your arm at all.”

 

Ziyi followed after him, but his stone still didn’t skip. 

 

“..nevermind,” Xukun made a feeble attempt of trying to hide his laughter. “Let’s walk.”

 

Ziyi walked slowly behind Xukun, watching as the smaller peered at each building they passed. His mouth stayed slightly parted, besides for the sweet smiles and nods he spared for people who passed by. It really was a pretty day. The early summer sun shined brightly, glittering off the dark windows of the tall buildings surrounding them. The sky was a bright blue, and clear, save for the few feathery wisps of clouds scattered along the horizon. 

 

Xukun kept trying to brush his hair back with his hand, but it just fell back into his eyes. He was in a plain white button up, one of Ziyi’s. Ziyi had a lot of much better quality, much more expensive stuff to choose from, but Xukun insisted that he did not want to be walking around with the Louis Vuitton logo around his neck. He was in his own jeans though, black, probably too tight, and more rip than denim. Xukun pretty much solely took clothes, since he only brought about three outfits with him and none of them were acceptable anywhere but a trashy club. And Xukun didn’t seem at all comfortable either. What had surprised Ziyi most at first was how modest Xukun really was. 

 

“Oh.”

 

He came out of his trance when Xukun suddenly stopped, causing Ziyi to almost run into him.

 

“Why’d you stop, aish?” 

 

Xukun ignored him and crouched down. At his feet were a pair of roses. Their stems merged into one a few inches down. They were normal red roses, though one looked like it had been stepped one. Pretty badly too, it was all tattered up. Xukun smiled softly and picked them up, showing the pair to Ziyi. “Look! They’re attached.” 

 

Ziyi smiled too, “Mhm, they probably fell from someone’s bouquet or something. They’re cool, too bad someone stepped all over this one.” 

 

Xukun carefully separated the two flowers, snapping off the excess stem. “Nah, see, it’s not so bad.” He tucked the healthy flower into Ziyi’s jean pocket, then held up the tattered one. “It’s still pretty.” Flipping on its side, he carefully pushed the flower behind his ear. “There. Let’s go.” 

 

“You’re like a thirteen year old girl,” Ziyi grumbled but he really couldn’t help but adore his cute little mannerisms. 

 

“I wish I was a thirteen year old girl. One with a normal, stable, family.” He smiled sadly, glancing back at Ziyi. 

 

Ziyi, in turn, sped up, walking close next to Xukun. “Did you have a family?” 

 

“I had my mom. But she developed an illness. I don’t know about my dad, honestly. I’m not sure how I happened.” 

 

“Maybe you’re a freak of nature,” He laughed lightly to break the mood, intertwining his fingers with Xukun’s. “How young were you when you started, anyways?” 

 

“I was.. When I came back from america, so sixteen.” 

 

“That’s.. That’s really early, what the fuck-”

 

“I wouldn’t say it’s that early, I’ve seen some preteens in brothels.” 

 

“That’s terrifying.” 

 

Xukun looked up at him with a grin, “I can go into more detail.” 

 

“I will legitimately tape your mouth.”

 

\-----

 

The two sat on Ziyi’s bed, with a few bottles of wine and some movie playing on the flatscreen. Glasses sat on the table, but only Ziyi made use of them. Xukun clearly didn’t care enough to bother with them, preferring to just drink from the huge bottle. 

 

He pulled the blanket tighter around him, leaning down onto Ziyi’s shoulder. The flashing colors on the TV mirrored prettily in Ziyi’s dark eyes, and Xukun couldn’t help but wonder if they were always so warm. 

 

“I really didn’t think you’d hold alcohol so well.”

 

Xukun laughed, reaching for his second bottle. “I like wine. Can you open this?” 

 

“Weak ass.” 

 

“You only love my ass.” 

 

Ziyi muttered something to himself, popping the bottle open against the bedside table. “You’re tipsy.” 

 

“Is that a problem?” His voice was slightly slurred, but nothing too bad, considering the amount he had glugged down. Xukun leaned further to his side, sliding off of Ziyi’s shoulder and down his chest, into his lap. “I’m still sore.”   
  


“Shouldn’t have gone out.” He turned down the TV volume, and glanced down at Xukun. 

 

“Psh. It’s your responsibility, you can’t blame anything on me.” He sat back up and grabbed the bottle Ziyi opened, chugging down more of it than should have been possible with his shaky hands and frantic gulps. 

 

“Are you accepting that I own you,” Ziyi leaned in suggestively, easily prying the bottle from Xukun’s grip. He finished it off quickly, throwing it over to the side. The younger just giggled, letting Ziyi push him down into the mattress. 

 

“How strong was that shit.” 

 

“..sixteen percent?” 

 

He laughed harder, only stopping to stare up at Ziyi. “You’re kinda really hot..” 

 

Ziyi felt soft, cold lips meet his. It was messy, wet, and forceful, but electrifying. Xukun pushed, eager for the amount of control in the opportunity. Ziyi would normally find this gross, how their teeth clashed, how he could taste the alcohol in Xukun’s saliva, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Even when his lips started to sting and he could barely take in air, he didn’t want to part. Because even when he bit, shoved, probed, Xukun felt so soft, so warm in his arms. Alive. He was alive. 

 

And Ziyi loved seeing the boy’s eyes go hazy as he forgets to breathe, and Ziyi has to pull away, digging his teeth into Xukun’s bottom lip and tugging carefully to show that he’s  _ done _ . 

 

Xukun drew in a deep breath, whining quietly. 

 

“Mm, not enough? This is why I still call you a whore.”

 

Ziyi received a prompt slap to his shoulder, but he just laughed it off. “You could’ve just gotten drunk off beer or vodka or something.” He reached his arm around Xukun as the younger crawled onto him, finding himself a position all curled up, but so he could still face his ‘lover.’ 

 

“But wine makes me feel like a goddamn classy whore, let me live.”    
  
“You’re such a kid.” 

 

“You’re such a..” Xukun paused, sighing. “Goddamn you look hotter…. Tell me, am I beautiful? Do you think I’m more than just pretty? Or handsome, whatever.”

 

Ziyi couldn’t stop a small smile from taking over his expression, shaking his fingers through the other’s hair. “I wouldn’t have kept you around so long if it was only because you’re pretty. Not for sex either, I could easily find someone better than you, you stubborn little bitch.” 

 

Xukun snorted, leaning into Ziyi’s calming touch. His eyes were glazed over and reflective, like a mirror, but not empty. It was absolutely fascinating, how the dark, seemingly flat shades of brown each developed their own personality, swirling and glittering in complete disorder. “So why?” 

 

“Because it’s you, Kunkun,” he laughed, pulling Xukun tighter to his chest. “Because I do love you.. Even if I don’t- even if I’m not, I don’t know. I don’t have excuses. But I love you.”

 

“..promise? Don’t lie to me, it-” He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, taking deep breaths. “It makes it worse.”

 

“I’m not lying. I love you, you dumb whore.”

  
He whined, letting his eyes drift closed. “Then stop calling me a whore.” 

 

Ziyi made sure Xukun was held securely in his arms as he felt his lover start drift off, not wanting him to fall over. “Okay, beautiful.” 

 

Xukun let his hands fall, leaning forward into Ziyi’s chest and sighing. “Alright, I love you. So I’m gonna let you prove yourself, because I’m not planning to fuck you for a good two months at least.”

 

He slipped his hand from Xukun’s hair and reached to turn off the TV, which had long since been muted. “Fine. Whatever leaves you normal. Go to sleep baby, don’t give me sultry eyes.” The room was left dark, spare for the  bright city lights looming outside the window. He remembered how much the huge windows had bothered Xukun in the past. He refused to even sleep on that side of the bed. Xukun had told him he didn’t like heights. Not because he was afraid of falling, but because he was afraid he’d yearn to. 

 

\-----

 

Ziyi’s right hand was wrapped firmly around the steering wheel, and his left was resting on the ledge beneath the window of his sport’s car. He tapped his index finger anxiously, along to the beat of some pop song playing quietly. “Did you take your medication? At the new dosage?”

 

Xukun audibly groaned and rolled his eyes, sending Ziyi a sideways look. “Yes, I took my SSRIs. I’ll be fine, I’ve done this before.” 

 

“Don’t get bitchy with me, I’m just worried about you. Your therapist said you’ve been yoyoing, I don’t want you going down again.” 

 

“Ziyi, I promise I’ll be fine. Don’t you trust your dad? He can handle me. And don’t call me a bitch.” 

 

He gritted his teeth, keeping his eyes on the road. “That’s not what I said.” 

 

“But it’s what you wanted to say.” Xukun leaned forward, grinning like he didn’t have a car in the world. Ziyi soon came to a jam at a traffic light, it was a huge city, after all, and took the opportunity to glance at Xukun. His dark eyes sparkled with that little reckless bit of mischief once again, and his pearly teeth were blinding in the early morning light. Winter was quickly approaching. 

 

Even in the city, Ziyi could see how the trees in the parks wilted, feel the cold settling in, replacing the remnants of the late summer heat far, far too quickly. Xukun was already in a winter jacket, huge, puffy, and black. Ziyi had ignored his complaints before, but quickly discovered that the cold really was a big issue for him. 

 

In the passing months, they had gotten a lot closer. Ziyi found himself longing for the boy’s company more and more. And for once, just his company. Nothing extra. Xukun was the type who would go out of his way to go buy some water and a hot meal for a street beggar, or wouldn’t hesitate to waste four hours of his day getting an abandoned puppy to a shelter. But at the same time, someone dropping a pan in the kitchen could be enough to give him a panic attack.

 

It felt like all his mental issues suddenly flared up after they properly established a relationship. Or maybe, he really did hide it for all that time. 

 

They had each turned a year older with the other, celebrating over cake and wine. They had even had a few dumb little anniversaries. Not that either of them cared much for them, it was all just for fun. The two had even gotten a dog for themselves, at Xukun’s insistence. A little grey zuchon puppy they had found roaming the city’s biggest park. No collar, no tracking chip, just a skinny, aggressive little puppy running among the trees. It reminded Ziyi of someone, though he’d never say who out loud. 

 

The puppy was named Momo, after the dog Xukun had lost when he was little, and still lived with his mom. Momo had gotten much tamer since then, though she was still hyperactive and talkative. Really quite a personality. 

 

Ziyi was most surprised by how quickly she grew attached to Xukun. He remembered it vividly, witnessing Xukun’s first, full-on panic attack. Ziyi had gone too far while teasing him, and said something he should’ve. But the dog seemed to understand immediately, running over and hopping into Xukun’s lap. 

 

And since then, she was always the first to realize. The one to curl up in Xukun’s arms, paw at his chest and collarbones until he could breathe again. Ziyi had to admit, the dog was a good idea.

 

“Ziyii, the cars are moving.” 

 

He grumbled and snapped out of his daze, stepping lightly on the gas. 

 

“You’re still a little whore.” 

 

Xukun leaned towards Ziyi, resting his arm on the surface between their seats. “But do I look like a classy whore today?”

 

Ziyi laughed under his breath, switching the hand on the wheel so he could intertwine his fingers with Xukun’s. “Yes, you’re the best classy whore.”

 

“You bet I am. See, I even have a real job now.”

 

“Yes, and I can’t believe I have to work in the same fucking building as you.”

 

He giggled, squeezing Ziyi’s hand. “That’ not my fault, you should’ve let your dad over more often. Then he wouldn’t barge in like that. Such a nice man, really. You should have him visit more.” 

 

“You suck up to him so much, it’s gross. Please don’t fuck my dad.”

 

Xukun couldn’t hide the loud laugh that burst from his lips. 

 

He had gotten a job as a model, from Ziyi’s dad, the CEO of a huge entertainment company. The man had payed a random visit to Ziyi’s apartment one day. No invite, no reminder, not even a small little clue. Just barged in. Which meant, he saw Xukun.

 

And, before Ziyi could make any bizarre excuses, Mr. Wang asked if Xukun would be alright with being on a magazine cover.

 

Xukun’s career had gone pretty well from there. He had even gotten recognized a few times, which was a big shock for them both. Honestly, he could move out just fine on his own, even find a nice place to himself. But he didn’t seem to want to leave. Always said he didn’t want to be alone. 

 

“I’m still waiting for you to have some scandal and get fired.” 

 

“Who in this era’s gonna admit they hired a prostitute? They wouldn’t even remember my face, you’re the weird one.” The twenty year old stuck his tongue out immaturely, sitting back up to face the front window. 

 

“Whatever, dumbass. I’m gonna have to drop you off across the street. That’s fine, right? You’ll be fine?” 

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I can cross a road. Don’t worry, Ziyi. I can survive a day without you.” He smiled brightly, waiting for the car to come to a halt at the side of the road. He had a shoot that day for some beauty magazine, and the set was outside his father’s studios for the first time. And he really couldn’t help but be worried. After sitting idly in Ziyi’s apartment so long, Xukun was quite sensitive to new environments. Ziyi just wanted to make sure he could take it. Especially with the bustling staff, flashing lights, intense ordering. It must have been overwhelming. 

 

“Alright, I’ll trust you. But you stay safe, stay with the staff, don’t go off alone. Don’t do anything dumb.”

 

Xukun rolled his eyes but nodded, carefully unbuckling the seatbelt and pushing his door open. “Remember to pick me up at four, I’ll wait at the main entrance.” 

 

He started to step one foot out of the car, but suddenly stopped, as if forgetting something. He pulled his leg back in and turned around, facing Ziyi. “Oh, love you.” He left Ziyi with a quick peck on the lips, and jumped out of the car before the elder could even mumble out an ‘I love you too.’ 

 

The 2315th time Ziyi met Xukun, it ended with a quick kiss, an even quicker ‘I love you,” and a turned back. Ziyi watched Xukun run through the now pouring, cold rain. He pulled the hood of his black coat up, and soon, his thin form disappeared from sight. But Ziyi didn’t drive off yet. No, he sat, staring out the window to where Xukun had been only a few moments earlier. Where now, car after car darted past, barely masked by the heavy rain. He let the soft pattering calm him, and let out a long breath, one he didn’t know he had been holding. Ziyi looked forward to the 2316th meeting with Xukun.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's the end! thanks for reading,   
> so please comment, I really love comments  
> but kudos or even just reads are great too, so thank you for reading till the end
> 
> i know it's long
> 
> the author loves you all xoxoxo

**Author's Note:**

> okay I really need to head off now, I hope you liked the first part of this two-shot!
> 
> it's pretty long, at least for how I usually write chapters
> 
> leave your thoughts in the comments, i always love comments and kudos <3
> 
> but if you dont wanna that's fine :')
> 
> bye~


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